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Love or scam by Kevin
Hi guys,
I have been visiting a same gal in Batam and these are my experiences with her:
1. Whenever I visit her, she would cry badly whenever I said I cannot be with her (as I am married and do not wish to sacrifice my marriage). I visit her on alternate weeks. Cries also whenever I am about to leave her.
2. Had written love letters about us in her diary even though I have said that I would not return after each trip. Am comtemplating not to return for real.
Have you guys ever come across such experiences. Is this a common tactic used by these gals even if she may not really like me? I do not frequent Batam and this is my first encounter with an Indo gal. I am a total green horn in terms of handling it as I lack information about their culture and the way they handle BGR relationships.
I would like to know whether is this a scam i.e. to make me fall in love so I can buy her out? Or could these be for real? Have you guys ever experience it? If so, can you care to tell me your experiences of how these gals treat you.
The good news- I think she does like you and
her tears are real. The bad news- her feelings
may be intense now, but likely are an
infatuation, and not sustainable
over the long haul. Also I think a large part
of her attraction may just be that you're the
only kind thing in an unkind business. Of
course it could be lasting and enduring, but
the odds are against it, and difficult to know
for sure without risking a great deal. It might
be best to stop seeing her, otherwise she might
start believing there's something there that
really isn't.
Is a bit difficult to shake her off my mind. As I do somehow have some feelings for her but .... Hence, it makes things even more hard to let go of her.
There are some posts if you go back a few pages and search concearning the issue of hooker love. One of the guys who posted name was confused and his situation was similar to yours so scroll down the posts and look for his. There was another guy who just got burned out of around $750 US and I can't remember his name, but scroll down a bit and you will see it. He was pretty upset and ready to do something irational. Go read these as they should be as of some warning to you. Also, there were some responses from a guy named Bobby and also 69 Sniper that were a good source of info. If you have any more questions then ask me and I will give you my jaded, but safe view point. Been there done that. Spending a couple of years living right in the heart of south Pattaya, Thailand I have seen nearly every trick that a bargirl could play with a guy. You are in a dangerous situation and in my opinion if you care about your hard earned money, not to mention your future, and don't like having your brain totally fucked with by prostitute games and ultimately your heart broken into tiny peices (which is inevitable) then do yourself the favor and rip any thoughts or emotions out of yourself right now! It is some hard advice, but trust me it is good. I tend to get really passionate with this issue, because getting burned by one of these girls can really set a guy back. Guys are getting hammered by these girls constantly and they need to be careful. There is too much at stake for you to risk.
They want to give it up but actually cannot !
I am speaking from personal experience, The promises mean nothin, the tears are real but as soon as you are out of sight and another guy speaks to them nicely they cannot help themselves.
I just had a very bad experience and will not get burned again!
I hope you guys can learn from my stupidity and just take them for wat they are - AVAILABLE HOOKERS !
NOT WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL BUT HOOKERS !
I've ran into girl that acts like that too. Very emotional and seems really attached to me. She'll also cry her lung out everytime I leave. I admit I've certain feeling for her but again I don't want to emotionally tied down with her. Btw, which KTV is your girl working at and how long she has been in the business?
well, its a scam, to bleed you for more
money. the moment you are gone, out of
sight out of mind.all the stories they
tell you are all shit. i manage to
catch mine. went to airport to surprise
her, i was ever more surprise, bitch
got an indonesia b/f there waiting for her.
fuck man, even gave her 6 million rupiah to
go back home. check my forum for whole story.
This is my first posting just for you, just an advise dont fall for it.
In TP my friend was in the same sitation. The girl will cry in the car b4 we leave. Its the same thing every trip. My friend being soft hearted give quite alot of tip to the girl. The girl will always said I love u ...
The girl also ask my friend to bring her back to spore. But on our last trip there, she was not working there anymore.
The botom line is that they just want your money. If you started to give big tips, they will try to use all means to hook you down.
Just be careful, just leave the sperm behide and keep your heart to yourself.
Listen man, I can tell that what you really want to hear is that it can work out. I have been in your shoes a couple of times and yes, it really is dificult to just let go (easier said then done). Well I did twice, but came back for the girls. I mean if I just would have stuck to my plan to get away from these girls and not go back everything would have worked out for the best, but I had to be an idiot and go running back for my torture. Look, I am tired of trying to convince guys not to have hookers as girlfriends or wives. It takes up too much of my time and the guys go running after the girls anyways. If you have to find out for yourself then go and do it and leave the rest of us alone. I hate seeing these girls get away with it and it is because of idiots like us that make them do it. I garantee you that you will be making a mistake. I mean did you ever see the movie the Perfect Storm? Well you will be sailing straight on into a really evil storm that you will never conquer! You will sink and it will take years to overcome the mental trauma that she will inflict on you. Even if there is a chance that I and the others warning you are wrong, there is too much at stake for you to gamble against. I have decided that a hooker is never an option for a girlfriend or wife. You have been warned now make your decision and get on with your life. And yes, them getting really emotional and telling you they love you and crying is a typical bargirl game that is played all of the time and with many men. These girls know that when the can bring themselves to tears it makes the men pity them and more money comes out of the human atm. They will not take your money and be real good, but at some point when you think you got a great girlfriend and let your guard down and fall for her she will read this and then she will hit you up for cash and when you refuse, BAM!!!! She is gone. It is as simple as that mate. She will walk away from you so easily and carry on with her life laughing, dancing, and smiling and you will be picking up the shattered peices of YOU on the ground. So go find out the hard way like the stuborn man, because she loves that. She dosen't care about you when it really comes down to it. Take all the money away and see if she still loves you. Why don't you get one of those bicycle taxis and ride around on that and tell her that she has to work and that your budget for the month is one houndred US dollars and see how long she stays around and how much she loves you then!
I understand that there is some difference between the gals from Indonesia and Thailand.
In Thailand, some gals are in this trade because of money, they know what they are in for before entering the trade whereas for these Indo gals, most has been con by some pimps who have gone into this villages under disguise of searching for waitresses or factory gals with the "promise" of a well paid job else where in Batam or some has been con by their own ex boyfriend or ex husband into it. None had really know of their plight before coming to Batam. When they arrive in Batam by plane, they found to their disappointment that they had been cheated and the only way to earn enough money for their return flight is no other than being a pros. I understand that factory jobs in Riau are only reserve for people from the Riau Islands. Correct me if I am wrong. Before coming into this trade, they were actually village gals and not pros, without even any prior experience in this trade. Most could not find a job in their villages due to the Asian crisis and had actually turn to any job which they can cling onto. Unfortunately, they have cling to a job at the wrong time and wrong place. What's more to say when they been offer with one which promises good pay by being working as a waitress etc. Hence, when they come to Batam, it can be said that they are totally innocent and in certain sense, purer in terms of thinking as compared to gals in Thailand. Most are originally not out to cheat but have only fall to temptation of using emotion as a bait after mixing with other gals. In some ways, their ulterior motive for been in this trade may not be for the quick money in the first place but because they have been con into this trade unlike the case in Thailand where most can be said, are there for the fast cash which they know in the first place and they are able to earn easily instead of sloughing by working in factories or the fields, or shopping centres etc.
I have been to Thailand for a couple of trips and can safely say from my personal experience that a high percentage of this go-go or massage gals are in this trade for the money. If they are in this trade for the money, what more will they not to do to cheat us of our money.
I hope you can see the difference here.
Besides, the gals in Batam are mostly working as a pros for a short term, maybe 4 months and thereafter retiring to their villages as a farmer etc. Once they are in their villages, they will cease been a pros. Most, may even settle down as housewifes.
Again the differemce. Unlike in Thailand, where sex has been accepted by the general society. It is not in Indonesia.
Prostitution is just another way of earning a living in Thailand and it is no disgrace for the family to have one's daughter to work as a pros in Bangkok, Pattaya or Phuket etc. I have even heard too many stories of one's dad selling their daughters in order he can sustain his own family with his other children. Just imagine if one does that in a western society!!! And when one's daughter returns with gifts, the father will be boasting to his friends of her daughter's filialness etc. I can't imagine another father who would accept such gifts knowing fully well how she earns it. I am completely astounded by the Thai's culture though I am an Asian myself. I understand from my own's experience, that a husband can even act as a pimp for his legally married wife in Thailand!!! They can allow someone to screw his wife and yet make love to her again in the evening!!! Guess you would know what would happen if ever someone had dare suggest this to a man's wife in another culture. Today, I am still trying very hard to comprehend the Thai culture. As for the Indonesian culture, prostiution has been despise by clerics due to their Islam beliefs and most fathers would certainly not agree if they were to find out in the first place where their daughters would be working as a pros.
Let's hope we can see the differences in both cultures.
You are trying real hard to justify your desire to give that prostitute a chance with you. I have to ask you since you know so much about Thai and Indonesian culture and the reasons the girls do it and since you are so hell bent on going after this girl then why come on this board and ask for advice? I mean you came on and said how you were new to the scene and that this was the first Indonesian prostitute you have ever been with. Now you are trying to give me a culture lesson on the differences between Thai and Indonesian prostitution. OK, let me tell you that I have been to Indonesia and speak a bit of the language. I have been with some Indonesian prostitutes and have friends that go to Jakarta and Bali. I have also been to Cambodia five times and been to the Philipines and also Vietnam. A prostitute is a prostitute no matter where she is from or how she got into the business. You trying to say that the Thais do it strictly for money and that the Indonesians get tricked into it is so accomadating that you have proved that your intents are to go right out and be with this girl. So do it! And leave the rest of us alone. If you already know so much then why are you bothering us here. Just go be with her and it will be a loss of your time, money, energy, emotions and you will have to deal with the headaches, deceptions, and pain. You try to make it seem like it is so different between cultures, but really it isn't. That is like saying the men from Thailand frequent the whore houses for different reasons then the men from Indonesia, because the men from Indonesia are muslim. The muslim Indonesian men go to the whorehouses for different reasons then the Thai budist men; come on that is ridiculous!!! Indonesian hookers are hookers and Thai hookers are hookers. It is as simple as that! You are trying to defend the Indonesian ones and making it seem like they are different so go and find out just how different they are and when you get burned just don't be a wimp and hide, but rather come on the board and let us all know of it. So all of these girls in Trestes, Surabaya, and all ot the other brothels in Indonesia were never sold by thier parrents? Come on your not that ignorant are you? And all the Thais do it for money on their own will and are never tricked into it by pimps? I can tell by your post that you pity the girls and that is the tool that they will use to trick you ie, your pity and trust for them. I have been around and with so many of these girls and it dosen't matter if they carry a cell phone and speak good English or they work out of a wooden shack and have been sold there by thier parrents, once they have done this work the risks are too high for trying to make a serious commitment with them. It is like opening pandoras box. Once you open pandoras box you can never turn back. You can't take the whore out of the whore. And like written in one of the posts above the only way is if she quits cold turkey. I mean this has always been my opinion. The girl has to quit on her own and then you meet her and the chances of that happening are zero. You cannot change her. You have to understand and see the whole picture and until you have gone out and been with a few of these girls in longterm relationships you will not be able to see the whole picture. I almost see it like them. When you can see it like them, then you will understand what you are up against. These girls become hard and you cannot soften them. Good luck you will need it.
I have been with a Thai gal whom was previously in the same line. I have lost touch with her. Had left her when she was pregnant but had told her to abort it before my last departure. Again, I was unable to fulfil her wishes to be with me as I was already married. Left her there and have not contacted her even since. Do not know whether she has aborted it? Do not know whether the child is mine? Most times, I do not leave my address and telephone for the gals to trace back. Still do think about her ocassionally. She had even burnt her whole arms with cigarette butts before I visited her and when I was with her just to show her frustrattion that she could not be with me, got drunk for me till she couldn't even meet me at the bar (the night I arrive in Bangkok) and I had to visit her at her home to see her actual drunk state/condition etc. Would someone resort to such things, by literally destroying herself if it is out for money and not love. All these are signs of a emotional person who is trying to avoid reality. Why be the fool if she does it to a man who did not care! That time, I was broken up within as I have to chose between my wife and the gal. I felt the pain but I did not have the choice of retaining her. I was devastated myself. I had almost wanted to destroy myself but have decided to end it all up even though she wanted to see me the next day but I took off on the next earliest flight out of Bangkok. I did not go back to sort things out and had used time to fade off my memories. So far my 2 experiences with these gals are sort of not what you have experienced. For the Thai gal, I did not really pay her once she is off bar duty (her rates was about SGD120 per night) and I would give her some money like SGD100 after I have spend about 4 days with her. This was just to cover her own daily expenditure and loss of income. However from my present experience, I do not mean that one should be off their guard as one may never know which are the ones who are out for money and which are not. But imagine if they have resorted to destroying themselves in front of your eyes and they really did. For my both experiences, they have did just that. Seeing is believing. I have seen it with my eyes and I do believe that there are some whom are genuine. I know that what you said is true and in deed for most cases are true, but we cannot generalise that it is so for each and every one of them. Like there are good and bad cops.
Can you tell me whether did any of your gals destroy herself in front of you, make herself preganant and later you have found out that she is just putting on a show just to win your love and cheat your money. Tell me, if it is so, so I can be forewarn. I am still taking all your advice very seriosuly.
Had someone burnt her arms with cigarette butts, or had tried banging her head on the wall trying to crack it like a coconut till you need to grap her head and wept, go on drugs because of you, take lots of pain-killers to get over the migraine, got herself stone drunk, attempted slashing her wrist with a pen knife in front of your eyes, forcefully raping you to make herself pregnant even though you did not want to have sex with her etc.
I have seen all that and it has ever happen to me. I am talking about my Thai gal and so unfortunately her occupation was a pros. Believe all who reads the above column, would have shown pity her if her occupation was otherwise.
Out of curiousity, may I know what has your gals did for you (and not to you) before making you believe that she loves you till the time when you discover that her actions was all a scam.
So one of the reasons I haven't replied is due to the fact that you came on the baord and said that you haven't been with alot of Indonesian girls and needed some advice about what to do with this prostitute who is clinging to you and you are also havinig feelings for, and have now turned it into a defence of the poor, little prostitutes. I didn't come on to argue with you, and like I said in an earlier post "go and be with her and leave the rest of us alone"! You are just trying to provoke an argument and I was just trying to give some advice to help you not get fucked up by this girl, but now I would rather you just go and when this girl burns your ass then you write on this board and tell us all of it the way Sebastian Samuel did. Since I am here now, I will give you my take or opinion on what you are trying to poke out of me. Yes, I have seen girls slash themselves up with knives and other shit. I mean what do you think I am blind! What does that have to do with anything? So is cutting your arms up love or maybe psychological problems. I mean do you want a wife who cuts her arms up and tells you she loves you? Fuck that!!! I don't need that kind of love. To me that isn't love, but someone that has problems and needs to see a doctor. I don't need her problems in my life, but if you want it then I am not going to stop you so go get it. Same goes with drugs. Just because a girl likes to abuse drugs and then says it is because you does that constitute love? Yes, I have had girls try to force me to get them pregnant. I have had sex with houndreds of these girls and have heard all the stories and have been burned and seen my freinds get burned. A girl who barely knows you and wants to have a baby is just not wise and probably has a plan as well. Is wanting to trap a guy who you barely know with a baby love? Define love to me, because this kind of love is just not practical to me. I mean having a baby is a life time commitment that you just don't run out and do after a few days, weeks, or even months. So your bargirl girlfriend wants to have a baby with you and the two of you have been together for years, well that could be love, but throw in all the self mutilation, drug abuse, and all the other psychologcal problems and I think you have a pretty dangerous kind of love. Once again fuck all that as I don't need any more headaches in my life, but by all means help yourself. Like I said, your not asking for advice, but making trouble by the line of your questioning. Provoke me some more and you will probably get a response. It seems you want to believe that this girl loves you or that the girls can love you. Yes, they can love you and they can also make you belive that they love you even though they don't love you. The latter is probably the normal intent. Some can even love you and then realize later that she was thier to make money and now you are either going to give her the money or she will have to dump you so she can go back to work. Some can probably love you and their Indonesian boyfriend or Thai husband at the same time, because her definition of love and yours are probably very different. Yours is probably emotional and hers aren't, but more of a contract. Just stop spending money and tell her to work and see how strong her emotional love is. She will be running around with another foriegner before you know it.
Also, I think people pity a girls plight whether she is a prostitute, a farmer or works in a mall. I don't think that people don't pity the prostitutes, but rather know the risks so they don't pay much attention to the stories that they hear asuming that the girl may be trying to hustle more money from you. Why are there always whore mongers that try to come off as being such humanitarians? Why don't they help out some of the other people that are suffering? I mean why not help the old man who isn't young and beautiful like the prostitute since he is in a worse position in life. The thing is that these guys want to pity the prostitutes and save them. Some of it is so shallow because they have ulterior motives and want to have a girl around for sex 24/7. Then they come off as being so sensitve, carring, and out to save them, but it is really shallow.
You got a point there man.In the first place,prostitutes are there to fill our sexual needs,not emotional needs.We should have a fuck
and fuck off attitude,not fall in love,come back,think think think (as what one brudder put it very amusingly).However,there are some guys I know who are either divorced,widowed or going through a rough period in their marriage or relationship and say that they are getting prostitutes not only for the sex,but also for the companionship.There're also men who do not fall
in any of the above category,they're just simply emotionally immature.Well,Kevin,I know Mr Nai's tone is a little bit harsh and sarcastic,but speaking from experience,you should not be too fast in your judgement also.If you really want to give this girl a chance,then by all means do it.
But remember you have been warned.Let time decide.
Thai Culture - You've got it wrong. by The Observer
With respect, I can tell you, as someone who has lived and worked in Thailand for several years, that your view of Thai culture is completely wrong. I suspect your view is based on visits to tourist destinations alone, and not to the real Thailand (which has a population of some 60 million people). Thai women are actually extremely conservative, particularly from the educated and middle-class stratas of society, but also including the vast majority of the rural working class. Prostitution does indeed exist here, (and is highly visible in well-defined locations) as it does almost everywhere; but get away from the tourist traps, and you will see that the depiction of Thailand as nothing more than "go-go" land is manifestly unfair and incorrect. Moreover, to think of selling one's daughter into prostitution is something so horrible, that it is beyond the comprehension of the vast majority of Thai people. Once again, with respect, you've got it wrong.
Since you know the Thai culture well, why are there so many pros in this trade in Thailand and other parts of the world? Philippines a relatively poor country too, export mainly maids but why do Thailand have to export pros for other nations to prostiture them? If there is not something wrong with their culture, then what is the real reason for this happening?
philippines poor ?
anyway why we choose to hav maids from philippines & whores from thailand is because we're singapore ! we choose the best, thailand seem to hav the best whore around & philippnes seem to hav the best maid around. Go ask your MP why no thai maid. They're all choosen for one reason & another, philippine gals most can speak english so better work as maid. LKY doesn't like the idea of SG man fallin in love with imported whores so he choose thai which will be more difficult for them to sian our sg man.
Realize that in the world she lives in, men are
either pimps or customers. You are a good
customer for her and she gives good service.
Another customer would get good service too.
It is very hard for her to break away from this world, the money is too easy and good, it's fun
and all her friends do it. The only way out
it to quit cold turkey, move away, never associate
with friends in the business. Maybe a girl
goes back to her village or a farang takes her
totally away. This doens't always work, girls
have no job skills and start getting bored and
start doing what they know. If she doesn't
quit cold turkey, you will always be a customer,
maybe a good customer, but just a customer.
every few days someone come along and ask the same old question in the same old situation :
book the same gal ,
gal cry ,
gal love you ,
your heart soft ,
give more tips ,
go back home ,
think think think ,
come inside here ,
ask ask ask ,
how how how ???
if neber see movie, tv also got show lah ! so many example already. People give you advice you also neber listen, still wanna ask. Kena burn then u know !!
How does an outsider know she is for real anot ?
Nobody can judge ! They can only guess ! So if you really wanna find out, go divorce your wife & buy her out. See what happen !
Can't you guys book another gal ? Enough gal in Batam for u to change 3 everyday. Got money u scare cannot get good service ah ? Want cheap , want good still wanna fall in love ? Stick to Geylang better lah, Sia Sway Sg men, The whole of batam talking about how desperate Sg men need love, give them a little love & they go back and think the whole week.
I am a Malaysian Malay/chinese mix. first time in my life went to Batam fell in love with a Chinese girl from Pontianak. I am 35 she's 25. I was then in a middle of a messy separation. That was exactly a year ago. We plan to get married end of year as it would be difficult to be together otherwise because of the stupid immigration rules. But when we were wooing each other, there was no acts of crying or pleading or any other shit. we were like normal people trying to figure out if we were right for each other. when we have decided, she volunteered to return to Pontianak and quit her profession. now she stays with me in KL for a month at a time and return to Pontianak only to return after a couple of weeks. There is a saying that whores make good wifes and wifes make good whores.... Just a word of caution, not all whores are as good. no regrets.
U just can't change the habit of 'a dog eating shits'!! They will somehow try to steal a sniff from it. Even if it's considered flirting(sniffing) it is still SHIT!! LOL
thank you to all the guys at net 45
i feel much better now,no regrets
like they say YOU GOT THE MONEY HONEY
I GOT THE TIME.
anyway i really hope i can collect the money
in two months time. in the middle of november
you guys out there please keep the date free
maybe november 18/11/2000 we go get high
on drinks on my account in batam starting
in memory one girl 200,000 can afford
to book 10 girls 2 million and still have
couple of millions for booze.
William,
Saw your posting on the Batam message board. What happened exactly?
Do you still recommend going to Memory or do you think they are a rip- off?
Who was the girl and what did she do to you? Was Fandi involved?
I'm going to Batam next month seems that I should stay away from Memory?
I'm real sorry that you lost all of that money but just put it down to a bad experience.
It's not worth going for revenge - it may cost you your life.
I'd be real interested in your experience, please give us the facts.
One of the major reasons why these gals entered into this line is because they were dumped by their boyfriend/husband. So they hate man in some sense even though you treat her very well. She might think someday you may change your mind and leave her.
sebastian, really sorry to hear about your story. I show great respect to your courage to share your experience so that those in these forum can learn the lessons.
Remember, we tried to meet a couple of month ago at Delifrance, WTC, but I left early for Batam. Hope to see you someday, maybe your mid-Nov celebration? Take care,man.
