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Love or scam Part 2
by KevinHi guys,
Of late I have still continued to visit the same gal. Have not paid her tips ever since my last few visits. Am truly broke! However, she has still treated me the same like the earlier time when I had given her tips. She has said that it is okay if I did not gave her tips. Had bought me meals when I was broke and paid even for the cab fare or local buses etc. However, I would fork out for the ferry ticket and hotel accomodation. My trips budget there are normally bare minimum due to my own high commitments here. Have brought her out for shopping but have never even ask for a t-shirt etc. Still shedding the same amount of tears whenever I am with her and when I am about to depart. Had never mention to me to buy her out so far even when I had earlier gave her tips.
She is suggesting to me to follow her and to work in Jakarta.
Had even told me that she would buy me an air-ticket from Batam to Jakarta under her own account once her contract expires in November a couple of times but I simply said "see how". For the Chinese, if one comes from a traditional home, bringing one's partner back after she is abroad or away for a period of time is normally seen as a serious matter and it implies that the guy/gal is her steady boy/galfriend. Anyone who knows what is the implication if I were to follow her back to her kampung. By agreeing, is it an implication of me marrying her on the trip to Jakarta? She has said that we will be sleeping in the same bedroom in her brother's house. Care to enlighten me on this point. I would not be working or staying in Jakarta.
Thanks and regards,
KevinPosted on Oct 12, 2000, 3:31 PM
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be careful
by RustyI jave lived and worked in Jakarta for over 5 years and will try to offer some advice.
Go to her Kampung with her and she how she behaves outside her "batam" environment. This does not mean marriage in Java tradition (i had a java wife). I am sure her family will treat you very well and that you will enjoy yourself.
It is unclear what you want to happen between you in this girl. You do not want to live in jakarta and you can not even afford taxis and the bus in batam!
She may like to live in Singapore with you but i doubt she would enjoy it. You can take the girl out of the kampung but you can't take the kampung out of the girl.
Do not go back to her village if you have no intention of continuing your relationship, this girl will lose face and no man in her village will want her after you.
tread lightly..Posted on Oct 12, 2000, 4:50 PM
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Love or scam Part 2
by KevinHi Rusty,
Thanks for your email.
I would be sleeping in the same room with her alone. Will her family pressure her or me later for marriage in my subsequent visits? Will the villagers talk about this if we are unable to solemise?
2. My wife intends to undergo separation with me but I am not officially divorce yet. Besides, my wife has only spoken in words but has done it in action. Hence, my dilemma of what to do with this Indo gal relationship. Besides, I am a Chinese and she is an Indonesian-Malay. My family is unable to accept inter-racial marriages. I have earlier fell in love with a Thai gal but faced strong family objection. My parents had threatened to disown me.
Our age (between the Indo gal) differs by more than 10 years however she has said that she is not concern about my age and race and is also not bother how people thinks about it. She has grasp my hand ever so tightly when we strolled the streets in Batam. I do love her a lot but am also deeply bother by my own family pressure once they come to find out about her as well as her family reaction when they find out that I am still married and not a Muslim. I am not willing to convert and she has said it is fine.
3. I am basically not poor in the true sense but basically have over-commited myself with my property investments. I do intend to sell it off if I do become separated. This will definitely lighten off my financial load. I am presently holding three properties.
4. I am not confident of securing a stable income in Jakarta. Hence, my reason why I don't think I can stay there in the long run. Besides, how many days leave do I have per year to see her that often unless I am my own boss which I am not able to afford now. Besides, I am also not fluent in Bahasa Indonesia. Hence, the reason why I cannot stay there to earn a livelihood. Please tell me whether can one find a jobs there even if he is unable to truly converse fluently.
5. I intend to carry on with her but I do not know whether would my marriage with my present end.
6. Is it really so that no man would want her in her village if I decide to stop meeting her one fine day after I had visited her village? Things might or might not work out with her in the long run. I myself do not know my fate or decision. I might actually decide to bring her home (Singapore) even with my family strong objection. I have lost a gal earlier and am not willing to go through it a second time if this is really the gal which I do love. Can you elaborate more on this point as I am deeply concern over the situation she may face.
Thanks and regards,
KevinPosted on Oct 12, 2000, 5:31 PM
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stay in batam
by sebastian/samueli suggest you stay in batam,if anything
happen you can go back to singapore.to many
of us is in this position, i have learn
my lesson. i think the best just to carry on the
relationship, in batam enjoy your self, back in
singapore out of sight out of mind, i know it
is hard,but i can tell you it's the best solution
after all when we are in singapore somebody is
fucking her. think about it.Posted on Oct 13, 2000, 12:00 PM
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Love or scam Part 2
by KevinHi Sebastian,
First, she was the one and not me who had repeated pressed me to follow her back to her kampung. Hence, I doubt the insincerity here.
Secondly, wouldn't one be curious to find out what type of lifestyle she have had, room she had slept/kept, her past photos of her childhood to adulthood, the company she was/is sharing, whether does she have any boyfriend or abang who is still living with her, her neighbours, neighbourhood, her family etc.
By the way, I would not need to fork out much as she would be paying for the air-ticket and I would be staying at her brother's place.
This gal had repeatedly told me that she had been con by some pimp whom had promised her of a greener pasture. She has no intention of returning to Batam after the contract even though I had hinted that I may like to keep her in Batam without her working but simply said no. Hated the place and the guys here.
Had even once heard a complaint from a tout/gangster who earns comission from bringing clients to find their gals and was told by him that this gal of mine was very proud and had rejected all his clients offers till he was so frustrated that he told me (in English) to warn her that he will bash her up one fine day if he has the chance. Believe he has been scolded by his clients for not been able to get their ideal gal which they like. However, I did warn her of his intentions and to be careful of him. Deep inside I was happy over her indifference or proud attitude towards the tout and other guys. Was quite surprised to find such proof from a third party whom did not even know of my relationship with this gal. I had overherd their conversation.
I still recalled the first time that I book her when the mamasan had repeatedly told her to behave herself and treat me well. Wonder was this a warning to her> May have too many complaints from other guys over her attitude?
Regards,
KevinPosted on Oct 13, 2000, 3:28 PM
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I will help
by goldenboyYou have a situation on your hands that is not easy to figure out.
She sounds very sincere, especially her offer to buy your ticket, this is probably a months salary!
There is one sure way to test her loyalty. She is still working there and probably making love to 5 different guys a week while you are away. If it is strictly business then you have no worries. Maybe she treats all her customers the way she treats you, doing this she hopes to "land" a husband.
If you want to be sure send a mate there to book her. he can offer to go to her kamoung but has no money for ticket. see how she acts, see if her lines on him are similar to the ones one you, i would bet you they are.
This is the only true way to find out, you may be to much in love with her to want to have someone you know do this.
I will be in batam next week and will offer my services. give me her contact details and i will book her for a day or 2 and report back.
hope i can help.
Posted on Oct 13, 2000, 3:46 PM
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Love or scam Part 2
by KevinDear Goldenboy,
Thank you for your kind offer but somehow I do trusts her a lot and do not want her to go through anymore physhological test. She has once cried aloud (at her top of the voice)on the phone in front of her friends when I call her joint and told her I was not going back. She was still sobbing away and her voice was cracked when I called her 15 minutes later. Would one be crying in front of her friends and mamasan in this trade if it is unreal and for 15 minutes continuously? What would her other friends think of her. She has once even hurted her stomach by the staircase railing when she jumped off the steps of stairs. She had to stop work for 2 days. I could imagine her excitement when she ran for the phone as I told her I would be visiting her that day and the mamasan had shouted my name to her. She also does sing me love songs to me at night before sleeping. Everything said here is not exaggeration. I do believe she wouldn't be offering to everyone to send her back cause if she has done so, what would be the consequence if I did agree to follow her. She is now so desperate that she is even willing to fork out for the air-ticket money just to ensure that there is no reason for me for not to go along and she has even mentioned to me that she will only take off on a weekend just to accomodate that I do not have to take leave.
I do thank you for your offer but I do not think this should be the way to test her out. Any other suggestions?
Regards,
KevinPosted on Oct 13, 2000, 4:23 PM
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give up
by Rustyyou should have taken goldeboy's advice. she screws everday anyway why not have someone check on her? you are scared of the truth.
Don't mean to be rude but please just drop this subject in this forum, you are helpless.Posted on Oct 13, 2000, 4:37 PM
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Love or scam Part 2
by KevinDear Rusty,
I know this is one of the ways to test her but I do not think that this should be a way to test her out! There are other ways to test someone. Though she may be in this trade but we still to respect them with dignity. She has been humilated enough! I do not think she deserves another test in this sense!
Even if she is untrue, I am willing to bear the brunt of it as time will only tell. I myself, a married man is in no position to give her any stability but yet she is willing to bring me back to see her folks! See the point. Who is the one who needs to be tested out! Am I the one instead who is lying to her by being a two-timer as I maybe the one who may back out later. I do not think it is right for me to reveal her details on the net for everyone to test her out, in order I can find out the truth. It is just not fair for her if she is true or even if she is untrue.
Regards,
KevinPosted on Oct 13, 2000, 5:17 PM
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Very convincing....
by not the galHey Kevin,
I am convinced if I cry out loud.. you'll pity me for sure. And I'll do it again and again whenever you're here. This is my investment. I will buy you the ticket today but I know once I've gain your trust, you'll have to comply to my every need. My family's needs or maybe even my relatives' needs. You will someday buy me a house and you will have to put my name instead of yours. You will never know for sure if I'm truly in love with you. One day, if you ever caught me sleeping with another guy.... you don't have anything to say. No matter how, you'll lose anyway. I am who I am, why do you want to take that risk? Serve you right for believing in me. Why should you want to trust me? Because I cried for you? And you still don't get it, don't you? Today, you don't have the money but you're a Singaporean. Don't you understand? You live in a better place. I know someday you'll have money for me..... that's why I can invest on my tears... what are they? Only tears.... and a small offer. You're my ticket to 'heaven'!
Now Kevin, WAKE UP!!! Don't you understand??
I am just trying to make you see a clearer picture here, Kevin. Good Luck.Posted on Oct 14, 2000, 1:21 AM
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Kevin could be right
by SmockKevin, you could be right but I gotta tell you something. I was born Indonesian Chinese and have been away for over half of my age. I have seen Native (malay)- Chinese mixture in "true love" but the place is not in Indonesia. (for the time being -- May be in 20 years but not now for sure)
Part of the discussion above is rite, if you do love her (an may be she love you too) and do not want to be scammed, take her away from her homeland and stay in either Singapore, Australia, NZ or USA. Australia is the best of all if I consider. OR you just too yellow to take the risk,
anyway, you are not risking anybody's future. Just yours (she does not have any future if she stays anyway)
Posted on Oct 14, 2000, 6:59 AM
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Indo gal
by KevinHi Smock,
She has actually told me that she has no husband or lover in Jakarta. Hence, the reason why she has repeatedly asked me to follow her back to prove it to me. She had even assured me that she agrees to come back with me to Singapore but I am not too sure if she can adapt to our environment. Here she would be in a mainly predominant Chinese society, and would literally have no Malay friends to share her feelings or converse with. I do not have much close Malay friends. She only speaks the Indonesian language. I am not sure whether she can pick up the English language (she speaks in broken English) quick enough or will she decide to go back to Jakarta after staying here for, say 6 months due to her boredom or loneliness? Only her love for me would make her decide to stay on. If she has someone else (as a number of these working gals in Batam have) wouldn't she be stupid to bring me home and yet promise me that she wants or love to follow me back to Singapore. Wouldn't she be so stupid caused if I become too upset by being cheated, she risk of me by paying off some guys there just to beat her up just to teach her a lesson if I have been made a fool for so long. In short, why would one go through the trouble if she wants to play to this level. One can imagine that comparatively, her ticket which she intend to buy for me is equivalent to say a ticket to fork out to go to London in terms of how much she has in comparison to a Singaporean income. Wouldn't she be so stupid to fork out for someone just to play this game. She may or may not get anything in return. Cause I may also back out from the relationship. Not all gals will outsmart the guy in this game. I myself have seen gals who had played this trick by telling the guy she is not attached or married but were reluctant to follow him back to his country once the guy opens his mouth. Reason is because they actually do have a husband or children back home or in their kampong and are reluctant to follow them back. How can this women open their mouth and say they actually have children when all along they have deny that they do not have any lover all along until they meet you. From my experience, this is a critical question to test out these women of their love! Who has more to lose if she follow you back. Here, you are playing on your home ground. Most have told a lie just to con the men of their money. But here, it is the total opposite.
Here, she has said that she love me and would love to follow me back. Who has more to lose.
Regards,
KevinPosted on Oct 15, 2000, 12:13 PM
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Totally 100% whipped by a Indonesian prostitue!!!!
by GeminiYou are very naive to the tricks of the oldest profession in the world. I think you should go through this and learn a big lesson in it. That way you can get really hurt and lose alot of money and then put your life back together after she has ripped your heart and mind into little peices. I have screwed houndreds of prostitues and have had them do this so many times that I just laugh when they do it. Upon saying that I have had the girls laugh with me after and tell me that I know how they work. It is as simple as that! She isn't crying over you, but your money. Maybe she hasn't got very much money from you yet, but she is a prostitute and she knows that it will = money later! She knows this and knows how to manipulate her emotions to get you to fall for her. You really sound weak and I don't know why you are comming on to this board to tell everybody, because you only want to hear what you want to hear so just go and buy her out and make family with her. You can support her family and husband. Think for a second sir about the thousands of bargirls in Indonesia, Thailand, Philipines, ect. Do you not think that they are all doing this to? Are you that blind that you think that there aren't bargirls in Thailand and the Philipines crying for a guy the same way yet having a husband that they love and are supporting? Think about that for a minnute because I garantee you that thier are many whores around the world right NOW crying for some naive guy even though she has a husband. And for you to deny this is plain clueless. Don't flatter yourself thinking that you are this special guy. I tell you what; I will be in Batam in two and a half months. I am young and attractive and I bet you that I can take her and get her to cry for me. I bet you whatever you want. I will win. She will be running around with me laughing and having fun and she will not make any mention of you and she will cry when I have to leave. I know the type of girl since I have seen these girls cry countless times. So tell me her name and where she works and I will go and get her to fall for me even though she has this undying love for you. Then you can dump her and get on with your life and I can dump her and take a new whore. It will save you alot of money and heartbreak. You really need to start to learn and understand how these girls opperate. Don't be so willingly ignorant. I know my words are harsh, but you should heed them as it will save your life. Go get a girl who has a bit of education and a respectable job. Posted on Oct 14, 2000, 7:44 AM
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Good Advice. But..................
by PaulI have met this girl in Batam who works in a Pub where the Bules (White Boys) like to go. She is a cashier and she does not go out (or freelancers) with men. It took me some time to get a date with her.
I have been out couple times with her, and we seem to enjoy each others company. She even told me that relationship would take some time as she is no hurry in getting into a relationship.
The thing is I do not live in Batam but I really fancy her character and don't know whether to go on or not. She had never asked for money and always mention that her principle in life is to earn her own living in a moral way.
I have seen it all in Batam as I am an old timer there, but this one gives me the feeling that she is the right one.
Seeking some rational and wise advise and not some one sided prejudical advice.Posted on Oct 15, 2000, 4:00 AM
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Batam girls
by GeminiEvery girl knows how to play games, but prostitutes make thier living by this. If a girl works at Patpong as a bartender, host, or outside trying to get men to come into the gogo bar then she is influenced by all that is around her. She may be the most dangerous or clever one there. The thing is that she may also have a sense of respect for herself and just want to find a good man to take care of her. You have to decide if it is worth the heartache and betrayal and possible a loss of money if you decide to make family with the girl. I would say to go for it if you are willing to take those risks, but watch your money!Posted on Oct 15, 2000, 8:06 AM
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Brilliant plan!!!!
by GeminiThis is a good bet! Send this guy, because you don't know him so there will be no strange feelings like there would be if it was a friend of yours. The thing is that you don't know for sure even if she dosen't come on to this guy, because he may not be someone she likes, yet she may still be doing it to other guys. I still think it is worth a shot and if she dosen't bite the hook, don't stop there, but try to see if you can get one other guy to try also. Hey here is an idea! Why not try to find a girl who's profession isn't a prostitute!!! I mean Indonesia is full of beautiful women who have normal jobs, but if you do go for this girl and get burned then I figure you are pretty pathetic and desearve it. Leave the girls in the bars and don't send them money EVER!!! When will you guys learn! FOOLS. This is why the girls pull this bullshit everytime, because of stupid guys that are weak and fall for their simple minded bullshit. WAKE UP!Posted on Oct 14, 2000, 7:16 AM
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She got conned by a pimp and now she is conning you.
by GeminiYeah I have heard this story a thousand times, but no your girl is different! Her lies aren't the same as the other girls lies. Oh yeah you can put all your money on the fact that she will never go running back to Batam with all those Singapore men and all their money as she will rather stay in her province and fry chicken for fifty dollars a month. Yeah this one is different for sure a diamond in the rough. Go for it she will make all of your dreams come true.Posted on Oct 14, 2000, 7:23 AM
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Love or scam Part 2
by KevinDear Sebastian,
I have read your posting and am very worried to be in your position if I do carry on.
But was yours, the one who initiated to bring her home or were you the one?
Secondly, why would she go to this level if she wants to play this game. I think from her income, money is not easy to earn in the first place but yet she is still telling me to follow her back and she will buy me the air-ticket. Why would she want to go through this extend? If she did offer this to every Tom, Dick and Harry. I would say most will definitely take the offer after all it is a free ticket and why not since you can still get free fucks once you are in Jakarta since she is the willing party. What a good deal after all. So I am bidding for time to see whether are there going to be more guys just like me who will be coming along in the same plance if she puts the same offer to each and every guy she meets. I am willing to take the bet to see which other guys she invites and what game she really wants to play. All I have to lose is some time, that's all.
Regards,
KevinPosted on Oct 16, 2000, 6:15 PM
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Good Luck Kevin !
by NormanHi Kevin !
You both love each other and you don't have the intention to live in Jakarta and moreover you are not familiar with their cultures and language why not take her back to Singapore and settle down there ?
Don't care what your families think or look at you.This is your choice of life.I'm sharing the same situation with you at the moment .
Take it easy and good luck !
Posted on Oct 13, 2000, 7:57 AM
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Read my previous topic...
by SimplicityTitled "Charms" pg 5 of this forum (as of today's page). Just do be careful.... have some defense before deciding to follow her to Jakarta.Posted on Oct 13, 2000, 2:03 PM
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Learn from my mistake !
by PhilI trusted one of these girls !
She went home to ker Kampung while I made arrangements to be with her permanently !
As soon as she was back there she was sending e/mails to other guys asking them to visit her for sex (she actually sent one to me by mistake that was intended for someone else)!
I listened to all the crap and believed !
Now I know the truth!
Do not get involved any firther and you will not get hurt.
Take advice go to Batam!
Enjoy !
Leave!
don't look back !Posted on Oct 13, 2000, 4:24 PM
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right on
by sebastiani am with you all the way
fuck and fuck off
no time for all their sad storyPosted on Oct 14, 2000, 4:20 AM
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Love or scam Part 2
by KevinHi Phil,
The slight difference here is that the gal wants me to follow her home and thereafter bring her back to Singapore. Did the gal mention this requesy to you?
Regards,
KevinPosted on Oct 15, 2000, 12:17 PM
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hookers
by sebastiani have another gal, she is 19 i am 55,
i spoil her,she will follow me to the end of the
world. willing not to work as a hooker as of
immediately if i am willing to give her 5 million
rupiah a month. love certianly not. keeping
only for myself why not,this way i dont have
to use umbrella. by the way all the gals in
indonesia wants to come to singapore. like
lee kuan yew book "from third world to first"
everybody from the third world wants to go to
USA. you dont see singaporean rushing to go to
USA, hey man we don't need visa to go to USA
thats how much we are worth.Posted on Oct 17, 2000, 5:53 AM
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Love or scam Part 2
by KevinDear Sebastian,
The gal which you are talking about is willing to follow you provided you can give her a maintenance of 5 million rupiah a month.
But mine has not even once (that I can put my word on it) requested me to buy her out from the joint nor even ask for anything. Mind you that we have went for shopping trips but have yet to buy her anything not even a single magazine there nor from Singapore. Besides, she also have not asked or take a second look. I have left my wallet hanging around and it has never once occured to me that any money was missing. That I have counted it. Meals in the hotel are also bare minimum. Just imagine that she had always order simply nasi goreng and a drink. Other times, just goreng ayam and plain rice. I would normally not give her any tips not a single cent, besides she has never once asked or hinted to me. She has even told me that I can have her all to myself once she is off the contract and I need not pay her a cent as she said that she is my wife and why would one pay sex to their wife. It all boils down to whether the gal loves you or your money. I still do believe that there are still some good gals out there after all they are originally from the kampung. You got to nab her heart before it goes rotten and test her character out.
All I can say is that all she has requested is that she wants me to follow her back to her hometown and thereafter follow me back to Singapore. I have come to this forum because I do not want to be caught in a situation where I cannot turn back the clock after she is pregnant which she intends to now. I do still have a wife.
Regards,
Kevin
Posted on Oct 17, 2000, 9:50 AM
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